I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
