I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
