I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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