she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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