my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
