What a fucking waste of an outfit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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