Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
