college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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