this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
