I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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