Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
