If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
