i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
