just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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