You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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