Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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