My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize