I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
