Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
