I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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