Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
