Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
