How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
