My pussy is not your playground.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
