So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
