did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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