She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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