What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
