yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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