Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
