After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
