if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
