Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
