so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
