you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am one with the molecules
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He shit in the fireplace
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
