he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
