If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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