It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They are going to name an STD after you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
