doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
