Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
