so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
