so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
