If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
