i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
