Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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