so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
