Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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