You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
