I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
