my phone needs a breathalizer
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
