the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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