I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
