i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
