if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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